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Pregnancy in the Netherlands: Midwives & me

I’ve been meaning to blog about what it’s like to be pregnant in the Netherlands. With just 4.5 weeks left until I’m due (!), I figured I can’t—and I shouldn’t—put it off much longer. So this week, I’m writing a series of posts on pregnancy in the Netherlands—not a comprehensive guide, just my own personal experience.

There’s a lot to write about, so be prepared for long posts! That’s because the Dutch system is so different from what I learned to expect back home. I get mixed reactions when I tell people how my pregnancy has been handled here so far (not to mention what awaits me at the actual birth). Some call me brave, others say I’m lucky, and a few just stare at me, looking positively freaked out.

For starters, most people can’t believe I stopped seeing my doctor eight months ago. Or that I’ve seen an ob-gyne a grand total of… once. Yes. Just once. That’s because in the Netherlands, pregnancy and childbirth are the domain of the verloskundige, or midwife.

"Ine's Childbirth" (1957) by Kors van Bennekom, from the Amsterdam City Archives.

A Dutch woman in labor with her midwife (1957). Photo by Kors van Bennekom, from the Amsterdam City Archives.

The logic: hospitals and doctors are for sick people, and pregnant women are not sick. Pregnancy is not an illness, but a normal part of life. I find this very Dutch, since the Dutch would be the last to treat their women as weak, fragile creatures. To be sure, pregnancies considered high risk (due to factors like previous miscarriages, gestational diabetes, and more), are handled by ob-gynes. But the vast majority of low-risk pregnancies, such as mine, are handled by midwives.

A midwife isn’t the hippie-dippie, Earth-mama choice. It’s not the lesser-chosen alternative that it would be in, say, the U.S. or U.K. Nor is it for rural women who live hours away from the nearest hospital, as in the Philippines. Here, a midwife is just… normal.

In general, this means midwives have far more experience with actual childbirth than doctors do. I’ve heard women say they feel safer with a midwife than with a doctor (as in this compelling account).

So how do I feel about it?

[Read more...]

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Posted on February 6, 2013
Category: Life in Amsterdam, Pregnancy · Labels: , ,

Maternity style: Tropical edition

By the time I flew home for the holidays, I was tired of piling on ten million layers before going out. So I was looking forward to wearing my “real” clothes (which is how I think of my summer clothes) and feeling like myself again for three weeks.

What I loved about dressing for pregnancy in the tropics:

  • Getting to wear sandals. Pretty toes, yay.
  • Packing only two pairs of shoes, because staying with my mom and sister means a bottomless shoe and accessory closet—and a trip to Landmark means shopping for cheap flats!
  • Putting away my thick, woolly maternity tights and seeing my legs again

What I didn’t love:

  • THE HEAT. OMG. Being pregnant, your body temperature is already higher because of increased blood circulation and being plunged into tropical heat does not help. At all. On my last few nights, I couldn’t sleep unless I had both the aircon (set to 21 degrees) and the electric fan on. December showed no mercy to this pregnant mama.
  • Bloating and expanding because of said heat. I didn’t go up a shoe size, thank goodness, but I gained FIVE POUNDS of water—which I lost the day I returned to wintry Amsterdam.
  • Humidity-triggered frizzies. Good thing there’s The Twist!
  • Sweating your way to that dewy (read: oily), no-makeup look. I found myself quite startled to see how much makeup women pile on in Manila (some women really need to lay off the foundation!) until I remembered that it melts off in minutes.
  • Being forcibly reminded of how everyone dresses in the same preppy/simple girl uniform. I lost count of the number of neat ponytails, Longchamp Le Pliage bags and round pearl earrings I saw in my two weeks back home!

All that aside, what I loved most about dressing for the heat was getting to dig out some of my favorite outfits from storage—like the printed vintage shirtdress I hadn’t seen since August…

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

and being able to wear my normal, non-maternity clothes… even in my third trimester.

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5 Comments
Posted on January 30, 2013
Category: Manila Girl at Heart, Personal Style, Pregnancy · Labels: , , , , ,

My maternity photo shoot

I knew from the start of my pregnancy that I wanted to do a maternity photo session. I thought I’d wait until I was ready to pop to capture my body in its full pregnant glory, but I changed my mind during a Skype date with a friend who was then in her eighth month of pregnancy.

When I asked if she was going to have maternity photos taken, the ferocity of her response surprised me. “Oh my God! No! Ayoko! Feeling ko ang laki-laki ko! Wala ako sa mood mag-posing posing!” Basically, she felt ugly and huge, and the last thing she wanted was to get her glam on in front of a camera. I thought she had some kind of hormonal goggles on, because to me she looked great.

But her response also made me think. If my gorgeous, tiny, delicate friend felt like a grossly ugly blimp in her last month, then there was no hope for me! So, my maternity photos had to be taken when my baby bump was a respectable size, but while I could still feel… cute.

I got in touch with our wedding godmother Dada, whose doctor/photographer husband Raul took some great portraits for the Ateneo Chamber Singers’ most recent album. Raul was game, and booked some studio time for our first weekend back home, two weeks into my final trimester. And this is what came out of those two hours in the studio.

Ever wondered what couples mean when they say “we’re pregnant?” Wonder no more. Sympathetic pregnancy is not a myth!

Can you tell Marlon and I had a blast with this photo shoot?

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5 Comments
Posted on January 3, 2013
Category: Pregnancy · Labels: , , ,

2012 in Instagram

I don’t know if I’ll still be using Instagram in 2013, but I sure used the heck out of it in 2012! Here’s a look back at the year that was via the 10 most liked photos on .

I don’t blog as much about daily life in Amsterdam as I should. I think that means I’ve finally started to settle in and take the ordinary things as, well, ordinary (as opposed to when I first moved here and everything was new). But I do post glimpses of everyday life in the ‘Dam on Instagram.

This year, 4 out of my 10 most liked photos were of Amsterdam–one for each of the four seasons, actually!

Spring: Blue skies over canal houses

Summer: Villas beside Vondelpark

Fall: Our soon-to-be street

Winter: Early sunset on the canals

Instagram was also where I chronicled my wanderlust. These on-the-fly snapshots of some of the places I’ve been this year got quite a few likes.

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3 Comments
Posted on December 31, 2012
Category: Life in Amsterdam, Pregnancy, Wanderlust · Labels: , , , , ,

Maternity style: Welcome to the third trimester

What better way to start one’s third trimester with a 12-hour transcontinental flight? That’s what I always say.

Thankfully, the flight from Amsterdam to Singapore was surprisingly comfortable, for someone in her 28th week of pregnancy. Booking Singapore Airlines and having a prenatal shiatsu massage the night before (my neighbors are yoga and shiatsu therapists) definitely made a difference. I also walked around, did a lot of hip circles in the toilet, and packed a Ziploc bag with chocolate chip cookies and bananas, and checked my ankles every five minutes to see if they were still there (I’ve heard one too many cankles horror stories from pregnant flyers).

I’m happy to report that I made it to Singapore in one piece, with minimum discomfort and intact ankles. Hurray!

Asymmetrical dress by from Uniqlo’s Designers Invitation Project: Costello Tagliapetra, H&M copper headband, Ona leather camera satchel, Vincci patent leather wedges, and five-spike necklace from WeAreLabels.  

Heavy, clinging humidity swallowed me up the moment I stepped out of Changi Airport (a forceful reminder of why mentholated facial wash was created), but right now I’m happy to be dressing like myself again, minus all the winter layers. I’m glad to still be wearing my pre-pregnancy clothes, too. And sandals, oh sandals… what a glorious feeling.

I give myself two days before I start complaining about curly bangs and oily skin, and generally cursing this climate. But for now, the tropical heat and I are cool—no pun intended.

4 Comments
Posted on December 17, 2012
Category: Personal Style, Pregnancy · Labels: , , ,

Planning the nursery: Do you duyan?

Now that I’m past the halfway point in my pregnancy, I’m starting to think about the practical matters of Little Mango’s arrival. I’ve started reading about labor and breastfeeding, and researching major purchases such as a stroller and crib. It’s a lot to take in, but taking it one day at a time helps me from getting overwhelmed—and looking at pretty pictures online makes it fun!

One of the things I’ve been thinking about is where Little Mango will sleep. Since my mom will be here in March, the spare room in our new apartment will be a guest room first, before we can turn it into a nursery. So Little Mango will spend the first few months of her life in our bedroom—a sleeping arrangement that seems to be common among the new parents I’ve talked to.

This has made me decide that what I really want is a duyan—a hanging bassinet. I want it Filipino and I want it traditional—woven from natural materials and designed to hang, rock and sway. I love the idea of our tiny newborn in a small cozy basket by our bed, and I love the idea of it being something from home.

The problem is, I have no idea where to find a duyan. A Google Image search for duyan turned up a handful of mostly atrocious pictures. Maybe young Filipino parents don’t use duyans anymore, or maybe the ones who do don’t post pictures of them on the Internet. I don’t know.

I did find a few images of woven hanging bassinets from… Scandinavia. Surprise, surprise.

I love these images because they not only show the kind of duyan I want, but more importantly, the kind of feeling that I want to create.

Finnish stylist Susanna Vento used the bassinet on the left for her styling work for Deko (photos by Kristiina Kurronen), while Nordic Bliss sells the one on the right in their online shop. Unfortunately, it’s sold out… but if it wasn’t, it would still be €79 plus shipping. In the grand scheme of things, that’s not a lot, but since it will only be used for a few months, I’m thinking I could find one for a tenth of the price back home.

Now, if I only knew where to look! Any suggestions, Manila peeps? Do you know anyone who has ever used a duyan?

12 Comments
Posted on November 9, 2012
Category: House & Spouse, Pregnancy · Labels: , ,

First baby clothes

Apart from a gorgeous first day, Costa del Sol hasn’t quite dished out the sunshine and sandals weather I came here for. So I figured: what else was there to do in the pouring rain but shop?

Mata Caprichitos Marbella1

When we first arrived, I saw a shop called Mata Caprichitos, moda infantil, in the old center of Marbella. It was closed for siesta (from 1-5pm… how does anything get done here??) so I decided to come back and check it out today.

Mata Caprichitos Marbella2

The display window was just too precious. Admittedly, the clothes for older children are a bit too traditional and proper for my taste, but they have the sweetest details. Somewhere in my subconscious, I have this impression of Spanish baby clothes—knits in particular—as being cute, well-made and good value for money.

Mata Caprichitos Marbella3

“Is this your first?” the smiling sales lady asked in Spanish, as I lurched vaguely towards the clothes for 4-5 year olds. “Newborns, this way.” As I went through the racks, I dredged up what was left of my Spanish to make conversation, enjoying the rarity of friendly customer service (unfortunately not a strong suit of the Dutch).

Funny thing about baby clothes: seeing them used to give me massive baby pangs, which vanished as soon as I got pregnant. Finding out that we were having a girl didn’t make me rush to the nearest baby store, which surprised me. I didn’t even want to shop online despite pinning dozens of images to my growing . I felt like I could go for at least another month or two before wanting to buy anything for Little Mango, and I was happy to wait for the second-hand baby clothes offered by my generous mommy friends in Amsterdam.

I suspected my undoing would be walking into a baby store on purpose. And I was right. There was nothing scientific or methodical at all about how I purchased Little Mango’s first baby clothes. I had no idea if I was buying the right sizes for the right seasons. I just turned into one big puddle of hormones; it took nearly all my willpower not to buy everything in sight.

Not only did I feel slightly weak-kneed and giddy upon leaving the store, I also walked away with some pretty cute baby clothes. Want to see?

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6 Comments
Posted on November 8, 2012
Category: Pregnancy, Shopping & Finds, Wanderlust · Labels: , , , , , ,

Hola from Marbella!

A warm hola! from Spain’s Costa del Sol, where I am playing the tag-along wife. Marlon had a work conference to attend in Marbella, and I was dying to escape the cold. I also didn’t want to be alone for a week, so here I am.

In the ’60s and ’70s, this was the summer destination for Europe’s wealthy and glamorous. As a kid in the ’80s, I remember going to a Batangas beach resort called Marbella, obviously modeled after this town. My mom caught the tail end of its heyday, but I never thought I’d get to see the real Marbella.

We arrived on Monday with just enough time for a stroll around the center before Marlon had to work. My impression of Marbella, at least from its old town, is more charming than glamorous, and I like that. Tourist season is over (though it’s still a good 8-10℃ warmer than Amsterdam), so the town is practically deserted. I like that, too.

I’m not really here to see the sights. If all I do is hole up in a nice hotel room, occasionally take some nice pictures, and spend time with my husband after his long conference days, I will be happy. Getting to eat churros con chocolate and wear sandals in November would be huge pluses, obviously.

They say the second trimester is the best time to travel, and so far I’m inclined to agree!

By the way, I’m trying two new things in this post. First is this Photoshop tutorial for vivid color photos from A Beautiful Mess. My photos sometimes turn out much darker than I’d like (especially in gray Amsterdam), so I like this quick fix. Do you like the results or do you find the images too bright?

Another one is a tip from The House That Lars Built. In her column called 15 Minutes to a Better Blog, contributor Tori Bowman suggests making all images the width of the post for a good flow. I like taking tall/portrait photos (vs the usual wide/landscape orientation) so I struggle with this a bit. I’m trying it out here, so let me know what you think: is the last image way too big or just right? If you have a good fix for these pesky tall photos, I’d love to know!

8 Comments
Posted on November 7, 2012
Category: Personal Style, Pregnancy, Wanderlust · Labels: , , , , , ,

Brooklyn leather camera satchel

The best gifts come from people who know you best. Don’t you agree?

Take my husband, for example. He knows I’m always carrying around a DSLR with at least one spare lens. He knows I have a terrible habit of using my nice, “grown-up lady” bags as camera bags, which is great for me but not for the bags. (I once horrified a friend by taking my DSLR with the clunky wide-angle lens out of a buttery soft Bottega Veneta handbag.) He knows that I’ve been in the market for a sturdy brown leather bag for a few months now. Most importantly, he knows that I pin pictures of all .

This is how he completely bowled me over with his birthday gift: the Brooklyn leather satchel from Ona.

I absolutely love the vintage style of this bag, as well as the chestnut leather that’s just begging to get all nicely worn and beat-up. The cross-body strap makes it easy to carry… and it looks great with everything! I can totally see this becoming my go-to travel bag.

Not only is this a good-looking satchel on the outside, but it’s also a camera bag on the inside. Removable inserts (attached with Velcro) allow it to store a DSLR and up to three lenses. Generous padding cushions the whole kit.

As if this wasn’t awesome enough, tucked into the padded interior was another birthday surprise… a Canon 60mm Macro lens!

I discovered this lens at The Hive Berlin, when Yvonne of Fraulein Klein (who takes beautiful photos) used it during her photography workshop. Like my 50mm lens, it’s a fixed-focus lens with shallow depth of field. However, it’s a lot sturdier, more light-sensitive, and easier to use for macro photography.

I will post test photos when I’ve gotten to play around with it a little more. This definitely completes my photography wish list and I think I’ll be very happy with my current set of lenses—all four of them!—for a long, long while.

3 Comments
Posted on November 2, 2012
Category: Personal Style, Pregnancy, Shopping & Finds · Labels: , , , , , ,

Maternity style: Halloween edition

Upon being invited to a toddler’s first birthday slash Halloween party, I was forced to ponder the question: what does a pregnant woman wear for Halloween?

Thinking of a good maternity Halloween costume stumped me for a while. My 21-week baby bump isn’t quite at pumpkin level yet, and it was too cold to bare the belly for a body paint job. With toddlers around, gruesome and scary was out of the question. My DIY pregnancy costume also had to be half of a couple costume, and be inexpensive.

I really, really wanted to be Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc., but we didn’t have time to do a proper Sully costume for Marlon… who absolutely refused to go as Boo. I hounded him for days (“It’s just a big pink t-shirt and pigtails! Pleeeeease?!”) but he wouldn’t budge. I also considered Pugsley and Wednesday from The Addams Family (my pregnant belly would’ve given it a whole other dimension of scary), but that was a bit too easy.

Finally, I had it. With two €5 t-shirts from the Albert Cuypmarkt, a few squares of felt in different colors, and some fabric glue, Marlon and I spent an evening DIY-ing our of his and hers Halloween costumes.

With a little something poking out of my winter coat, I got more than a few funny looks on the tram! Does this give you any hints about my Halloween costume?

[Read more...]

4 Comments
Posted on October 31, 2012
Category: Creative Projects, Personal Style, Pregnancy ·